The Ranger is Dead. The Dakota is gone. The Colorado has disappeared around the bend. And America is a land dominated by the large truck. That makes sense, too, with the EcoBoost F150 getting better gas mileage than the old Ranger. It’s selling like knockoff Clif bars in the REI parking lot, so what’s the point in a smaller, less efficient pickups that nobody wants? But Chevy has a plan, and it could be a harpoon missile right into Ford’s scaly, radioactive flanks. They call it the Colorado, but it’s not the mid-size truck we’ve always known.
According to Automotive News, the Bowtie could show their new, “global” Colorado as soon as the LA Auto Show in November. Currently built and sold in Thailand and Brazil, the 2nd gen Colorado is a vastly different platform than the American Colorado, which ended production last year after weakening sales forced the cut.
The cool thing about a global platform is that you get a glimpse into how the rest of the world drives. Some things they get right, like the vast proliferation of manual transmissions- the six-speed shlushbox automatic in the global Colorado is an upscale option. There’s also the foreign tolerance of diesel, which even domestic oil burners understand as an efficient, torquey way to get work done, but only in large trucks, stuck high with stacks and four rear tires. The global Colorado offers two engines, and they’re both diesels.
But then, there’s some things they don’t get so right, like the styling. Somehow it’s too tall, as if someone has shot it in 16×9 and uploaded it to Youtube in 4:3. Like a heathen. And would you look at that face? It’s so squishy and kind! Don’t you just want to hug this little guy against your chest as you drift off to an 8-hour, carefree sleep? Your five-year-old daughter would love it. But that’s not how we do trucks here in America. We like our trucks to look like 80-year-old drill sergeants. We want the styling to break our skulls with sledge hammers. Because we use them for work, and work is pain, and we enjoy it!
So when November rolls around and Chevy pulls the sheet on the new, US-bound Colorado, you can count on tougher, angular styling more in line with their bigger trucks, and less in line with Pooh Bear.
Hopefully, though, they’ll hang onto the current drivetrain. The manual transmission, at least as an option, is likely. The old Colorado offered that freedom, as did most other small and mid-size American trucks. We’re going to stamp the diesel with a plausible. Chevy is pushing diesel on our shores with the Cruze, and a smaller truck could be a natural next step. The Cruze, however, uses a 2.0, while the Colorado’s mills are 2.5 or 2.8 – new engines entirely. And getting a diesel engine through US emissions testing is like yachting from New York to LA.
We’ll probably see a gas engine or two as well, which is fine, as long as they keep that 3.7 liter straight-5 locked deep, deep in the vaults beneath Detroit.
What do you think? Will the new Colorado sell? Will it give small truck fans an American alternative to the EcoBoost F150?